Why do couples go to therapy? The reasons vary when couples enter marriage counseling or marital therapy. Some couples need a relationship mediator, while others need to learn to communicate properly.

Some couples don’t need marriage intervention as much as they need a safe place in which they can discuss life’s challenges, goals, and decision-making. Because many individuals remain single for at least a decade after turning 18 and entering adulthood, they may need to learn joint decision-making. After making all decisions alone for many years, people may need a mediator to help them learn to include their spouse.

If you want to participate in couples therapy, set your goals for marriage counseling first. Next, decide together whether to attend psychologically-based or faith based counseling. Some counselors use both methods.

If religion has become a sticking point in your marriage, it may help to choose a secular, scientific counselor. Instead of relying on the doctrine that’s causing conflict, this individual may suggest new methods of communication and compromise. Choose what works best for you as a couple, because approaching it in this way can help alleviate some of the stigma of marriage counseling.

Any time you bring two people together, there will be differences in opinions and learning curves to live peaceably with one another. Depending on personalities, the adjustment is better for some than others. Does that mean that you give up on the relationship? No. There are options out there that can help bring you and your spouse closer together and on the same page. One of the best available is marriage counseling.

Here are a few tips for marriage counseling that you need to know.

• Remember, no matter the reasons for marriage counseling, it is an effective marriage intervention tool to help you live in harmony with your mate.
• Go into it with an open mind, ready to embrace new perspectives and solutions. Stay focused on the solution and avoid nagging, complaining, or being demanding.
• Demonstrate good, open communication, which is critical to a good and healthy relationship.
• Avoid being defensive, using sarcasm, being accusatory, giving ultimatums, invalidating your partner’s feelings, reliving past mistakes, or disregarding your partner’s feelings.
• Be open to modern, more advanced methods of relationship counseling such as family mediation and other emotional availability exercises.

Remember, hiring a good relationship advisor can help couples navigate the troubled waters of marriage and make marriage counseling truly effective. Their guidance can provide reassurance and confidence in the process.

The decision of whether or not to seek couples counseling isn’t easy. Unfortunately, part of the reason why so many people struggle with the idea of bringing psychotherapy “into” their marriage is because it seems like an acknowledgment that something is indeed wrong. There also remains a stigma in some regions surrounding counseling in general — or at least a perceived stigma. In reality, most people accept counseling as a part of life that some people need. But they still might feel embarrassed or ashamed to admit that they themselves need counseling — especially couples counseling. Seeking therapy services to aid your marriage isn’t “admitting defeat”. In fact, when a couple seeks counseling together, they’re demonstrating exactly how important their marriage is to the both of them. In many cases, therapy is the only thing that can save a marriage. And in some cases, nothing can save a marriage — not even therapy. But it’s important to take every step you can to save your marriage if both parties are willing to try, if for nothing else than your peace of mind. Below, we’ll look into what contributes to the need for marital counseling, how it works, and how often it works.

Why Do People Need Couples Counseling?

There are many reasons why people might need couples therapy. The common misconception is that this sort of therapy is largely need after marital infidelity, or other such types of betrayals. It is true that infidelity can lead marriages to break up — and that couples who want to move on from infidelity almost always need to seek couples counseling if they expect to really work out their problems. An affair doesn’t happen in a vacuum, after all. But often, couples counseling happens because of other factors, such as mental illness. Mental illness is often treated through individual therapy, but it can easily affect a marriage as well. An estimated 50% of Americans with major depression don’t seek treatment for their illness, and this can cause a huge strain on any relationship. In fact, women are 70% more likely than men to experience depression, and as women often don’t feel comfortable with voicing such issues, this can lead to resentment from both parties — though you could say the same thing when men are affected by depression. People may also need couples counseling after a traumatic event, or following the loss of a job. No matter why you need therapy, you shouldn’t feel ashamed — therapy is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. It’s a good thing.

How Does Couples Counseling Work?

Couples counseling usually takes the form of talk therapy. In cases like these, a therapist will typically help couples talk about their problems in a safe setting — sometimes separately, sometimes together depending on the therapist’s specific strategy. The therapist will suggest coping skills and methods that can be applied at home, which will hopefully be helpful in the future. Couples therapy is something that people can quite whenever they want. The sessions will usually begin as weekly sessions, depending on the couple’s preferences, and gradually will decrease until they’re no longer necessary. It’s important to note that many couples seek couples therapy just as a “tune up”, of sorts, regularly visiting a counselor in order to check up on their relationship and better it. For that matter, some couples seek therapy before marriage, just to make sure that their relationship is strong and healthy.

Is Couples Counseling Effective?

When it comes to the effectiveness of couples therapy, the answers are clear. According to research by the Chicago Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy, 50% of couples recovered after the termination of their therapy, while 70% recovered within the next three months. Indeed, 98% of couples surveyed by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reported receiving good or excellent help, with 97% saying that they got the help they needed. Marriage counseling does work — you just have to take that first step.